@hhChoooo… who sneezed?!?!

I was busily trying to debug an assignment and was literally ripping my hair out over the computer program I had to write and I’ve already spent days on it.

Then God brought things into perspective.

I dropped everything I was doing. Just like that.

See, I got news of a missionary facing imminent death in East Timor. Being in the information age and all, chain smses and emails must be sieved out for the truth. Urban legends, hoaxes come plenty in the email, and smses. And I have grown weary and somewhat skeptical whenever I recieve some of these messages soliciting prayers for so and so. How true are they really? Come on, don’t waste my time!

Got one again, and this one included a name, yeah, great! Just to make it sound real, yah? These hoaxers are getting good you know?

Skeptically I “googled” the name and guess what? A name showed up.

The information was indeed verified. There is such a person and the persecution real. A family serving God, facing a life threatening situation. That was in September.

Since then, I believed they continued sharing and preaching the gospel in their adopted homeland. They believed that even at the cost of their lives, it was well worth staying on even amidst adversity. Until now.

I was humbled and felt ashamed.

And there I dropped all I did. And prayed. For them, for myself. All the things I did in the past days, just did not feel the slightest bit worthy of comparison to the eternal sowings of these brothers and sisters.

What have I been sowing lately? What have I been weeping over lately?
I’m embarrassed to give you the answers.

My walk has frequently been marked with seasons.

Seasons which God impressed upon my heart. Following my past journals, I could see that in the last season, God spoke and dealt with obedience.

This season, I’ve been hearing again and again this one simple, single word…

Thirst.

I knew in my heart where God was pointing to. You’re not thirsting for me. You’re dehydrated and yet you are not drinking from Me.

Thirst.

I know in my competitive days, when we raced. One can feel totally hydrated after the race. But inside, the body is dehydrated… and the fluid I drink immediately after is not sufficient to hydrate the body. I need to keep drinking through the day, even when I don’t feel thirsty. Because my body needs it. I may go to the toilet a lot, but that does not mean my body has already got the fluid it needs.

Thirst.

I feel fine. I go to Church every week, I attend Cell group. I read my bible every morning. I serve actively in ministry. I do everything prescribed that a good Christian ought to do. But I’m not “hydrated” enough.

Thirst.

Bible says when we drink of Him, we will never be thirsty again. Drinking from Jesus, fills us with His Spirit, and there will be an overflow, a flood if you may, of the Holy Spirit from our lives.

Thirst?

Then Drink.

Its been such a hectic week right up till today. So… I’m rewarding myself with a good 2 hr “stone” break. Yes it sounds so pathetic, I only have 2 hours to stone before I start this crazy cycle again. Time is precious, and I miss having time to just do nothing.

I started out the week with dengue scare, I’m just glad the episode is over. My place is (so far) the only blocks of flats that hasn’t seen much dengue, the blocks surrounding mine are labelled hotspots! Naturally, with the onset of fever, aching muscles and joints, headaches, painful eyes, I thought I might be coming down with dengue fever… Doc said it was viral fever (but that we could not rule out dengue). So it was a relief, but I could not have imagined how the fever could wear me down so much! Totally weakened to the point that I panted as I walked around, and my knees were so numbed and weak, they buckled a few times while standing.I’m glad the strength is back…

The crunch is coming. Exams are just round the corner, the stress is setting in, the assignments are coming one after another. You know its stress when you dream equations, formulas and computing algorithms…. and guess what? I actually woke up with a solution to a computing problem!! Of course, it was also quite an unrestful sleep… (eyebags)

I miss hanging out… seemed so long since I’ve gone out on weekends with friends. Since school started, I’ve been hanging out with Tim the Tutorial, Alfred the Algorithm and Lester the lecture notes every saturday. Where’s the life? I’m so looking forward to December.

Now, I’ve got one assignment left… the toughest one. I’m praying I get through this alive…. Help Lord! (how I wish this cry was not for school work but for His work.. sigh .. )

Just came back a week ago from a dive at Tioman, it was quite a relaxing dive. Slept most of the time, making up lost ground I guess. But that is exactly what I like about diving.

Firstly being cut off from the world. And just for that 2-3 days, I have am Handphone free! Not that I hate having phone calls, but just that I am free from making or taking calls.

There is also the part about sleeping through the day. Sleep is becoming a luxury item nowadays. I rarely get 7 hours of good sleep these days, Some folks I know can live on 5 hrs or 6 hrs of sleep. But I know I need more. Yeah, call me a sleep-head, but I know my limits. And I know the importance of rest. Being able to live on 5-6 hrs of sleep, to me, is nothing to boast or be proud of. Eventually it takes its toll on you. Anyway, back to diving.. being on a dive trip is just eat, sleep and dive… occasionally puking is interjected as part of the package, but heck. Its well worth it. HAHA!

Finally… diving is so peaceful… its quiet and peaceful in the water. You float about. You see God’s beautiful creation swim up to you, gazing curiously at you. You see the slow graceful movements of the soft corals in the currents, the fishes hiding among them. The colours of the underwater world is astounding! And the slow rhythm of the dive, nothing is done in haste, the finning motion is slow, the breathing controlled. And of course the freedom of space. On ground, one is limited to a plane. Underwater, you are never limited. You float over the corals, movement is 3 dimensional. A sense of breaking free from limits and gravity. Just float…. wonderful awesome sensation…

Well, that said, who wants to go divin?