Heart mattersDecember 26, 2005 10:01 pm

I spent a good afternoon over the long weekend just chatting and sharing with a dear sister.

It was a blessed time, and I really walked away blessed from the conversation. God uses his people to show things about yourself. Things you never knew. Things (issues) you thought only others have. I mean, hey, I thought I knew myself well enough! Guess not.

Seemed that deep inside, there were some deep seated issues - recent, but deep. Camouflaged, stashed aside. Kept from view. I never knew were there.

You know how people become a sounding board for you… when as you share, they help you to see things that you never saw before. A different angle, a new perspective, a revelation. This sister helped me see it. Old wounds. Still raw and fresh as then. I thought it was a matter of the past, that I was already over it. And old wounds surface itself, manifest itself as something new, that you cannot recognise. Only a third party would be able to see it. Commonly it surfaces as an insecurity, self blame, a fear, an anxiety that you could never let go.

The question now is, what next? Its been unveiled. I see the wound, what’s the treatment?

I think I know the answer, I just need the strength to apply the strong medicine… Ouch! :(

Urmm, FarnieDecember 4, 2005 9:27 pm

Pre-race: Woke at 3am to get myself ready. Was hoping to fully clear my bowels before the race, therefore the early waking time. Unfortunately, seems like my system is still asleep… will this come to haunt me during the race?

Start of the run

1km: Nice run, very cool morning

2km: Kenyan marathoners came running in the opposite direction! Boy! They are really FAST!! Its such a sight to see the non competitive runners cheer them on!

3km: Sky’s starting to brighten up.

4km: Is it just me or does it seem like more and more people are overtaking me.

5km: Yes, they are overtaking me.

7km: What?! Only 1/3rd the distance!!??

9km: I can feel the blisters forming.

11km: Something doesn’t feel right in the belly…. :(

12km: Something really isn’t right in the belly… I need a toilet, and I need one FAST! :(

13km: Alas! Porta-Toilets in front of esplanade. Bomb time. Pray they have toilet papers.

13km: No progress… still bombing.

14km: Resume race, feel A LOT LIGHTER!!! :D

15km: My legs are sore, blisters getting to me.

16km: Nicoll Highway was never this long and this hot!!

18km: Finally, out of the Highway. 3km to go!

19km: Just a little bit more… Back at Esplanade…Hey, that’s the Porta-Toilet I used just now!! heh heh!

20km: So nice to have pple cheering you on. Perhaps its because “Going to die liao” is written all over my face.

21km: My first half marathon. :D